Tuesday, 17 May 2016

Five Things You Should Never Do When Am Reading A Book- Like Never Ever

Believe me, it's not like am a cranky person or anything like that.  But when am engrossed in a really good book, the last thing I need is an interruption. But sometimes it seems like there are some people whose sole aim in life, is to put an end to my enjoyment. So for that reason, have put together a list of five ( for now. I might increase the list later) things you should never do to me when am reading. Thats if you want us to remain friends. Enjoy.
1. Call My Name
Ok, it's like this: each time you see me holding a book, it's not me your really seeing cuz am not there. I have most probably been transported to another world far, far away (kindly multiply this statement by 100 if I happen to be reading a super interesting book. Thank you very much). So you'll likely have to repeat my name about twenty times to even get my attention. And kindly be informed that my response will be non-verbally, maybe with an irritated grunt or my personal favorite - a death stare.  And now that you have my attention, it's going to be for a very short while so say something important like ' Chiomaah you just won 50 million dollars' or 'This house is on fire!' To prevent me from starnglung you for wasting my time. You have been warned!
2. Interview Me
What's the book about? Who wrote it? Is it any good? These are just a few of the classic  annoying-as-hell questions that people ask me when am reading. And am most irritated by the fact that most of the people in this category, hardly ever  read tyemselves. It's like they want to know as much as they can about the book without actually reading it. How selfish. And while we are at it, no. You can't borrow it when am done.
3. Ask me if Am an English-Literature Student
I know this one's third on the list but believe me, it's actually almost the most annoying. How come I never knew there was a rule against non-Eng-Lit students reading interesting books?
4. Give Me a Lecture
 A short, straight-to-the-point 'You like reading, that's very good' is fine. After all everyone appreaciates a commendation once in a while. But please do not start telling me about how you used to love  books, how many books you read when you were in primary School but can no longer do so because you are  such a busy executive with lot  of responsibilities, blah, blah, blah. I mean, I really have to finish this book because thousands of readers on Up Close And Literal are waiting for my review. Thats if you don't mind.
5. Snatch The Book From My Hand
I repeat: do not try to 'Bring my back to the real world' by snatching the book from my hand and running away with it or holding it high above your head to stop me from reaching it (why am I so short?)  This will only make me hat e you the more. I mean, some people spend hours with thier eyes and hands glued to their cell phones and no one bullies them. Why can't a girl just read a good book in peace? The injustice!
See you guys later.